Aveline Turns 19!

i know my blog rocks (rots)

but at least its rotting for a good reason (oh really.) it seems like blogging era is quite the in thing now and many people are just blogging blindly, stupidly and without thinking the consequences. but then again, i have no say because i might be one of them as well.

so, now i know what i shall do, that is to blog with and for a reason. but whatever that reason is, i'll still stick to the principle - to blog with and for a reason.

which also explains my absence the past week.

so, i met ave and mr. tan for steamboat dinner at marina bay. like, its our maiden time having steamboat since 7 years ago? lol. may it be some talk cock sing song meet up session but i must say the whole catching up was great and we had fun!

we ate like kings
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AVELINE

hmm i wonder who'd be next in line.

1900-identity-crisis

identity.

do you know the real you?
you do?
really?

Annoying Kids & Merlion!

i think many kids these days are having seizures (pun intended)

seizures are caused by abnormal electrical discharges in the brain. symptoms may vary depending on the part of the brain that is involved, but seizures often cause unusual sensations, uncontrollable muscle spasms, and loss of consciousness.

-extracted from some health resource website

get what i mean now?

like for instance, the kids in secondary school or even those in primary school are going abnormal. turning bad. hate studies. bullies. turning emo. getting pregnant. blah the list goes on and that is my main concern.

remember when we're primary 3 when we started to know and learn science, do we even know what in the world is porn? and now kids as young as 12 fucking around getting hangovers and smoking. *scoffs* who knows what happens the next day?

is education given not enough? is education given effieient? should we just blame the parents? or is science making evolution or genes going totally wrong? or something that is so irrelevant that might make sense- is it the food we eat daily have the possibility to actually mutate or (should i use a nicer word), evolve the genes in our kids?

im not pregnant nor am i a mom so i wouldn't know that either. what i know is that kids these days need to be taught, hypnotised(haha you heard me) or to be tamed down a little. at least know the grey between blacks and whites or at least have a little respect. gee

by the way, i was in the train this morning and i witnessed something beyond my imagination. i think i was at the potong pasir station and i stood nearest to the doors so accessibility would be easier. to my horror, when the doors glided opened, this woman, did the Merlion (upright okay)and fuck thank goodness i had not taken my breakfast or else i'd hurl at her too. the worse thing, she just walked away. speakin' of personal responsibility! ha wtf, seriously

Are You Afraid?

are you ever afraid of something?

something that scares you so much, you're actually going through the torment for almost as much as 5 years and counting? the stereotypes always say that there is nothing in life to be afraid of and you know what im gonna tell them that they are so wrong. i truly believe that everyone will have at least something to fear about.

my phobia was developed when i witnessed loved ones passing on, funerals, people dying, death. something that we will all undergo when the time comes. i am a necrophobic. well, not specifically one because i am never afraid of corpses or coffins relating to death. however, ironically i am afraid of death itself. and i still do.

the thought of death is always in me. it's mysterious and the unknown. millions of questions to be answered regarding death and not many people (in fact, none) are able to answer all of them. it'll always remain a mystery to all.

i caught The Fountain by well known sci-fi director, Darren Aronofsky and he replied this in one of the interviews about the movie.

First it's 18, then it's 21 then 30 then 45 then 60 then 75. They get further and further those big markers. But turning 30 was when I started to think about it and also my parents both got cancer and were fighting it and beat it, but their mortality started to get to me.

Everything wasn't as hunky-dory like it was.

-Darren Aronofsky who was questioned about where he got his inspiration to do a story about the fountain of youth?

the thought of death takes a toll in my daily life. for instance by just staring into the mirror could make me think about it and i'll just break down and cry; i thought i really needed a psychiatrist to make sure im okay and not losing my sanity.

a matter of fact, i think i am.

so, whats your fear?

You Stole My Grapes

Oh, Look!

champagne grapes!

sweet and tiny however aint as yummy as the ones ive tried in hokkaido. d:o)

the horror of all horror: deadly 7 sins - gluttony


this picture says it all

Guess!

watch this, pause it halfway and make a wild guess what those are without peeking the rest of my entry.

*do not cheat. i mean, whats the fun of it trying to make a guess when you cheat?*

wait maybe i'll just do the fonts white so in order to reveal the truth, highlight the entire entry to know what the heck im actually trying to let you make guess.


highlight the remaining space to reveal the answer.

so guess what.

we have been fooled.

do you remember the legendary Sea Monkey? that oldschool shit? that we so often try to beg our parents to get for us but they think its all bull? seriously, that video. its the real thang dude.

its so fucking tight, im speechless and still dont understand how those things are able to reproduce within a day?! and the best part of all is, they can be bought from the departmental stores; the package includes 1.tank 2.instructional 3. sachets of secret powder (so they say) 4. apparatus to mix and scoop...and it's instant!

i just cant believe that for almost 10 years i thought this sea monkey shit was all bogus. never did i think it can be so so real. truly amazing.

oh, wondered how did i even think having this entry? thanks to my sister who exclaimed that her school sells some 'water baby' shit that grows on water. and viola i thought of the sea monkey. :)

ps: if you're wondering if sea monkey is still available for sale, to tell you the truth ive no idea myself. think im gon' make a trip down to toys'r'us. it better be there to welcome me or im gon' snap and cry!

When The Stars Fall Down...

Oh, Britney!

i like her. i really do! she fell off the wrong side of the road (damn right) and she might go through shit we all just dont know. and i truly believe we just cant wait for the old Britney to be back. dont y'all think so? lets hope for the best.

you know we miss you.

bad hair day.

you broke a heel, but that's okay.

i might sound pro-Britney but im just trying to express my view that its just a pity people who does groundbreaking music ending up at such state. i mean oops she did it again, and again and again. know what i mean?

okay the point is, leave Britney alone. like what he's trying to express.

So,

"Love has no rules.
It happens when we least expect it,
often when we don't want it,
many times when we can't handle it."

- Brokeback Mountain

people are going missing. why is this happening? what were they thinking when they decided to leave? was it abduction? kidnapped? or did she vanish into thin air?

nobody knows.

i chanced upon my friend's blog, read this entry about a girl of my age who went missing for almost 2 months. you might have seen posters hung about her missing act on the lamp posts along the streets in town and must be wondering is this just another act? or prank? nothing of that sort. i just wonder what make her do that. to run away. was she another troubled person? i really wonder.

anyway if you people seen this girl Felicia @ Gaia, please dial 999 or give chase. below is an article about the disapperance of Felicia and a blog dedicated to her. do read and visit it if you have time.

http://findfelicia.blogspot.com/

Dear with Love

Dearest Mommy,

I don't know if you are able to read this or even receive this. But I'm going to write this anyway and I really do hope you do and can. Because the inside me misses you badly despite the fact I don't know why I won't miss you as much as before.

Sometimes, I wished I had sprinkly wishing dust like the movie I caught with Christel earlier on, called 13 Going On 30. So I can make a wish whereby I have the ability to turn back time knowing what should be done and what shouldn't. But I know this isn't going to happen.

I really wished however you are still here with us, all the time, not dying at such young age and able to give us the motherly love sis and I are yearning. I miss everything about you: your eyes, mouth, laughter, your naggings, continuous scoldings and your conditional love fpr us.

Haven't you realised? It has been the 7th year running Mom. We are all moving with time. Dad is turning 60 in 2 years' time, my sis is undergoing puberty and I, going to hit adulthood. Everyone around me is moving on, except for myself. I want to prove people that 'I CAN' but I just dont' see or should I say find the drive and motivation to. You might be really disappointed and I bet everyone do, because I have gicen up before even trying. But please forgive me because I dont' have the strength and courage I used to possess. That egoistical pride I used to have, is gone too. As if something happened and took it away from me. Give me the strength I need to move on like the rest, Mommy and watch over the good people in my life.

I'm really scared, Mommy. What death is to me. Is it scary? Were you shuddering with fear when you knew you were dying? Was it painful? It seemed like the death phobia is woking on me daily. It freaks me out all the time. Save me from fear, Mommy.

Dad and sis are still doing fine, just that out relationhip with Dad seems to be distanced. Probably because he is so obssessed with the debts C owed that he doesn't spend time with us often as before.

Sis is studying hard, I really hope she is. I really don't want her to make the mistakes I made and I'll make sure she'll do well in her exams. Everyone wishes well for you and I'm sure you know everyone loves you. A great mother, a fantastic daughter-in-law, a caring daughter.

Visit us frequently if you can, and bring grandma along too. I miss and love you both so much. Everything, everything.

Love Sincerely Truthfully Yours,
Yeong (You-Know-Who)